It's hard to stop thinking like a blogger. Especially when one is not actually giving up blogging, just taking a break. Yes, the break may go on forever, until finally I accept that I did, in fact, give up. Or I could come back to it, have regular posts, fabulous photos, nifty ideas, share my stories, and generally get a kick out of it again. In the meanwhile, thoughts and sentences float around my head, forming blog posts that will never see the light of day, well, the light of the laptop anyways. I think about updating my 'regular' topics, like The Chicken Diaries (chooks still not laying again yet, all healthy, enjoying their playpen, one of them popped out a surprise egg the other day) or The Year of Eating Nutritiously (moving onto grains now... to soak, sprout, stop or what?, and learning that there is so much to learn, and quite a lot of controversy to confuse you for good measure). Then there is Preserving (being able to pressure can homemade stock is awesome), or what about my old favourite Urban Homesteading (I wish I could boast about this, but have decided we are more urban hillbilly than urban homesteaders at the moment).
I've got to tell you though, not spending as much time on the computer has been a revelation. It's not just what I can accomplish in the time that I would have been here (bigtime decluttering, some redecorating, exercising) but also, how calmer, or content, my brain is. Now, you know I love the inspiration, motivation and support that you can find in the blogging/ Facebook page community... but there is too much, it can be overwhelming. As the Want-To-Do list grows, the Actually-Got-Done list shrinks. The One-Day-I'd-Like-To thoughts fill my brain, and the Today-I-Need-To thoughts slump in a deflated lump. The If-Only-I-Could-Be more like that or this or her, takes the shine off the This-Is-Who-I-Am moments of glory. Accepting my life, my backyard, myself, and being content that what is in front of me is where I need to be, has been an important part of this journey. So many cliches or quotes come to mind right now, but letting your dreams go isn't usually one of them. I guess I tend to think too big, which in the end can be paralysing, so I just lay down in the grass(is greener on the other side) and feel stuck. Stepping away from big dreams... like having a farm-change, starting a CSA, writing a book or two, having an Open-Garden-standard 'urban homestead' to show off to the world... allows the little dreams to take hold as they wind their little vines around the trellis of my backbone. They strengthen me, as I give them the attention they need. The little dreams? Those ones up there, the ones this blog celebrates. That is the reason why I haven't 'given up' on this blogging gig just yet.
